Focus on Pediatrics: Cards and book aid grieving children
Focus on Pediatrics: Cards and book aid grieving children
Kids write sentiments for kids
Ever try to find a bereavement card written specifically for a child? Pauline King, MS, RN, CS, director for children programming and psychosocial clinical nurse specialist at the James Cancer Hospital and Solove Research Institute in Columbus, OH, looked for such cards to accompany the basket with a plant, stuffed animal, and Mylar balloons she sent to children she knew who had lost a parent or loved one. She couldn’t find one, so she created the Comfort Card Workshop and solicited participants from her Good Grief and Beyond Support Group, where children come to honor lost family members they want to keep alive in their memories. "I thought what better people to do art and write sentiments for kids then kids who have already been through it," says King.
The three workshops that have been offered were held at the Columbus Museum of Art where poets, artists, and art therapists worked with the children to illicit sentiments appropriate for the cards. The artist took the children on a tour of the museum and asked them what they thought the artists were trying to make people feel by their choice of colors in various paintings.
The poet helped them remember what it was like to be in a similar situation and write what they would have liked to have heard when their loved one died. "Kids write different bereavement cards than adults do," says King. Kids wrote: "After this, I hope you get a life full of hot chocolate" "When you are feeling blue, ask someone to hug you" "People you love never really leave, they leave pieces of themselves for you to find at any time" "I wish you a bird’s song."
The card project was gave children who had gone through a traumatic experience the opportunity to help others in that same situation, says King.
Another aid for grieving children King created is the Little Book of Love. She encourages parents to complete the book for their children, whether they have a terminal illness or not. "Even though I work with kids who have parents with a serious and possible terminal illness the reality is that life is fragile. I could have a car crash on the way to work," says King. Therefore, she created the book that contains information she would want her son to have if she should die. It explains how much she loves and adores him, nothing more, she says.
The book is sectioned into topics with envelopes in which parents can put the information along with photos and other mementos. Topics include: Reasons I love you so much; Applause, applause, things you do that I admire; Hopes and dreams I have for you; Things I want you to know about me. "Most people don’t have time to write an autobiography. This is just about love and you could probably finish it in one hour," says King.
King is hoping to publish several of the Comfort Cards and the Little Book of Love. Revenues from sales will help supplement funds for her bereavement programs for children, she says.
The support group is for children who have completed the Kids Can Cope, Too program, which is a six-week course that teaches children about grief at the beginning of the diagnosis of a loved one.
Good Grief and Beyond helps these children honor their loved one on a monthly basis. This is especially helpful the first year when there is a series of first anniversaries, such as the child’s first birthday without their mother.
Although the comfort cards have not yet been published she has put them to good use by creating a card quilt. The quilt is made up of little doors or flaps with the card face on it. When the door is opened, the message is read inside. On the left hand side of the card is the name of the child, their age, and a definition of what their parent died of.
"The kids in Good Grief and Beyond will be able to read the cards and affirm what they are feeling. They will know that they are not alone," says King. n
For more information about the cards and booklet created to help children work through grief, contact:
• Pauline King, MS, RN, CS, Director for Children Programming and Psychosocial Clinical Nurse Specialist, James Cancer Hospital and Solove Research Institute, 300 W. 10th Ave., Room 004, Columbus, OH 43210. Telephone: (614) 293-4138. E-mail: [email protected].
Subscribe Now for Access
You have reached your article limit for the month. We hope you found our articles both enjoyable and insightful. For information on new subscriptions, product trials, alternative billing arrangements or group and site discounts please call 800-688-2421. We look forward to having you as a long-term member of the Relias Media community.